I had to hear it about a thousand times before I had any clue at all what it meant.  I knew it meant SOMETHING, I mean, it sounded like it meant something, and I was curious to know what it would feel like.

It came to me in various forms: “Create a space for it.” “Let it in.” 

My first reaction was, of course, “What the f*@! does that MEAN??”  To this day, I can’t really answer that question directly, other than to say that now I understand that I can actually make space for things like grief, joy, confusion, and connection, and to accept the full spectrum and experience of my life. 

It’s not a physical space, and yet it is, or at least that’s how I have to imagine it.  I can start with imagining that something non-physical, like an emotion, has form and size, and takes up space.  Then, depending on the depth of the feeling, or the height of it, I can imagine it in its space.  If you’ve never tried this, it can lead to insight, or at least amusement. 

I’m also finding that I can hold a space open for others, and, at least in my mind, they can find comfort and safety there.  It reminds me of a phrase I heard from my dear friends Julie and Kurt: “Zip me in!”  Sometimes I picture it as opening my heart space, taking someone in, and zipping up.  Other times it’s more like spooning with someone in a sleeping bag.  Zzzzzip!  That closeness, that intimate connection, can be such a comfort when  feeling untethered. 

Next time you crave understanding, or compassion, or just need to be brought back to earth, get someone to zip you in.  And if you can’t find anyone, let me know.  I’ll hold some space for ya.

 

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